Keep three lists: an A list of fascinating people, a B list of good listeners who can also converse easily and a C list of people to whom you are personally or socially obliged to return hospitality. Then, when you plan a party, draw from all three lists to balance personalities and interests. Bring together old friends but always invite someone new to keep things interesting.
If there is a guest of honour, tailor the guest list to her likes and dislikes.
If you're entertaining a newcomer, try to have at least one other person present whom she knows and invite guests who share common interests with her. Give everyone some information about the newcomer so that they will have points of departure for conversation.
Never invite a roomful of people who share the same occupation unless you are planning an evening given over to shop talk.
At a small dinner party, arrange the seating for complementary personalities and interests. Place people with opposing views next to each other for lively conversation (but only if you're sure they'll restrain themselves).
A host has the right to stand firm against people trying to bring uninvited friends or children. If they say 'I can't come unless I bring my child' (or 'my poodle', for that matter), feel free to tell them that you'll miss them but you hope they can come next time.
