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Overcoming the Passive You
The passive you often allows others tell you what to do, how to do it and when you should be doing something. The passive you always wants out, to scream – I have thoughts, feelings and ideas, but you are always worried if any one is going to listen to you. The first step in overcoming the passive you, is to realize that you are passive and that you need to make a more aggressive stance in life to get what you want, when you want it and how you want it.
Passive behaviors are going to be evident in almost everything that we do. Are you the last to get in line? Are you the last to get something free? Do you have problems sending food back when it is totally raw or wrong? Have you been harboring feelings of needing to change for months or years? Now you can make changes in your behavior by understanding how to act and express yourself to get results.
Aggressiveness often is an offensive behavior but assertiveness is an expression of thought or idea. Aggressiveness is going to make others feel bad, to feel threatened or to feel guilty but assertiveness is going to make your ideas, thoughts and feelings known without hurting feelings.
So to leave the passive you behind, you need to learn to be a bit more assertive. Think of it like this: you are going to express yourself with more gusto. With more ummph. This is a start in how you can overcome passive behaviors. When you want to get something done, you approach it, as it is the only thing you have to do and you focus on that until you get it done. This same approach should be used in how you talk, act, walk, and so on in your life to over come passive behaviors.
Do you always hope things are going to go your way? You are passive if you do. Work to make things happen for yourself. No one is going to hand you anything in life, you have to make it work for yourself. Thinking and hoping that things in your life are going to change is a very passive thought. Need money? Get a job. Tired of being lonely? Get out there and meet people. Want a promotion? Work hard and get noticed!
Are you frustrated that people are often giving you things you don’t want for holidays, birthdays and such? Express what your interests are to others. Let your family, friends and co-workers get to know the real you. Talk to others and become a part of their life. Ask others about their lives and listen to them. By listening you can learn a lot about a person! Get over your passive personality by striking up just one new conversation each day – even if it is just to say hello to someone on the street.
Approach and confront your problems. Do you often wish that problems would go away? Are you finding that no matter what you step in dog poo every morning on the side walks? Alternatively, possibly you find that someone is in your parking space every time you arrive at work or at your apartment.
Confront and take action. Use the rules of life to get what you need, want, and how you should have it. While it can be difficult to approach the neighbor about their dog poo on your lawn, you have to do it. Confronting the problem is the only way the problem is going to be solved.
To get what you want out of life you have to stand up for yourself, without being offensive and too pushy. There is a fine line between being assertive and aggressive. Being aggressive usually means that you are stepping on someone’s toes to get what you want.
Quit being the victim of your own personality. Learn to be stronger and make yourself speak your mind. Once you speak your mind you will feel better, less stress and less worries about things that you spoke your mind about. Do you often feel confused or angry? Talk it out with who ever you are having these feelings about or with and your passive personality will leave you, as you start expressing yourself more often.
When you are more assertive in your life, your life is more in your own control. There are no dependencies on any one or anything else, as long as you are in control of your own destiny!